he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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