Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
