i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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