Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
i think im in europe. pls send help
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
