I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
