Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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