She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
