ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Randomize
