His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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