"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
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