He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
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