at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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