bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Dignity is for republicans.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize