so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
