Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
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