At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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