This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
