you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Randomize
