I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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