A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
i used baking grease as lip gloss
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
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