dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
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