I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Randomize
