I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize
