conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
