you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
