People in love make me want to vomit
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
