Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize