I am in a vortex of obligation.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Randomize
