The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
