I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
