I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Randomize