love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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