haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
