This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
