then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
