'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
I just found puke in my bra..
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Found the puke drawer
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Randomize
