Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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