Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Randomize
