I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
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