12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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