I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I'm determined to sit on that face.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
