you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Randomize
