His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
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