The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
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