"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Randomize
