**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
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