but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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