she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
