Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
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