How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Randomize
