But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
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