There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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