i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
