I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Randomize
