somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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