She's JV to your varsity
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
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