hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize