I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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