Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Randomize
