Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
