You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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