he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
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